I have come to realize that my Wednesday posts really are sort of my tough ones—or they have at least been recently—but I hope I can change that for a little bit. You see, I’m going to go ahead and blame the end of the semester for my slightly being behind, but now that it’s over, hopefully, I can keep up for a bit.
I did it though; I finished my first semester of college yesterday! I did only go part-time so it’s like a half-accomplishment but I did it! You know how many years I sat there and thought that I’d probably never go back to school and now I’ve actually got a few credits under my belt. It feels kinda cool, you know?
Anyways, I couldn’t have gotten through any of it and probably never would have had the motivation to go back to school were it not for Kayleigh and Emmy. Those two are my support system, my backbone, my tiny baby and my ol’ lady. If I were a biker, that is. But they are; they are what keep me going and what makes me want to do better. I don’t think I’d even be writing at all if it weren’t for them so I gotta give them lots of credit.
Now I’m off for a few weeks until I start summer classes in June and in that time we’re going to California for a day, kicking back and watching the house and pets a few times while the in-laws are out of town, going to Arizona to see my mom, brother, sister, and grandma, and hopefully having a whole lot of fun before I get back into school. I’m hoping I don’t get off schedule again once school does roll around but we’ll see what happens. Summer classes are condensed and done in half the time so it could get crazy for a little bit.
I just wanted to update you all on what’s about to be happening as we should have some fun posts soon!
Sorry for being tardy again.
I swear I haven’t forgotten about the blog…
I know, I suck, and I have no real excuses except for a weekend long, Friday through Monday, Bachelorette party (that’s what Vegas is for, right?!), but otherwise it’s purely my memory’s fault here.
Anyway, I’ve been wanting to post about this for months now, so here it is…
Joshua and I have been together for six years. Count ’em. Six… We’ve had twelve birthdays between us, six Christmases, six New Years, six summers, six winters, and six anniversaries.
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Things have been pretty busy lately. Can you tell?
My final essay was due on Monday and my final speech was due today; Kayleigh had a bachelorette party to attend to this past weekend as she’s the maid-of-honor for this wedding! They partied and pooled it and did what people do when they come to Vegas and I had my time with Emmy!
The weekend went great; Emmy and I did all sorts of things, from the park to the library, to playing outside and eatin’. We had a good old time. She was so much fun and I’m glad that I got to spend so much time with her. She’s my favorite tiny-person ever. And Kayleigh got to have her much-needed time away and that makes me happy as well.
While Emerson and I definitely missed the comfort and the presence of mom, it was nice to get some father/daughter time together. I do miss the days where I used to watch her when she was tiny—the three days a week I’d take her and have to figure out my life around a baby and it was probably the most rewarding thing I’ve done yet. So it was nice to reconnect with our past, although now she’s much bigger, stronger, and gets into more.
I’m coming into my last few weeks of this semester and then it’s summer and we should all be able to spend a little more time together, at least for a while. Then come summer classes! Nice.
It’s been nice writing to you again. Check back for more on Saturday! Maybe I’ll write a blog about why we censor Emerson… maybe. Or maybe Kayleigh will tackle that one next Monday; we’ll see!
I tried out reading a bunch of dad books before Emmy was born and I tell you what, while they were pretty entertaining, there have just been some things to happen that those books didn’t prepare me for.
I’m going to give you guys a short list of the various things that reading those books written by dads about dad-ing doesn’t prepare you for. Come to think of it there are more than just a few… but we must start small. Here we go.
First off, the emotions that I felt the day Emmy was born and the emotions that I feel every day, whether it be pride, happiness, or just total love for the tiny baby, were briefly glanced over in some of the dad books. But the love that you actually feel when you meet your baby for the first time or the feeling you get when your kid is doing things and learning things for the first time weren’t really talked much about in those books. I think it’s because some of these things are indescribable and I couldn’t even put those experiences into words. Meeting Emmy was like a grenade filled with love and attachment went off literally inside my entire body. That’s a weak attempt at explanation. Watching Emmy learn is like watching something you’ve put a lot of work into really pay off, over and over.
This past weekend, Saturday, was the first day Joshua and I have both been away from Emerson at the same time for more than a couple of hours.
We spent the bulk of the day alone, together, for the first time since Emmy graced us with her presence in November of 2016.
Joshua and I went on a six-hour hike in the middle of a canyon, down by the Hoover Dam.
It’s supposedly a hike just for locals – the hidden gem of Las Vegas. Now I’m not so sure how true this is, but for the sake of respect, I’ll keep the location disclosed.
We started out leaving the house at 9am, which in our world is 10am. That’s pretty on time for us. We left Emerson with Meme and Steve prepared for the day with lots of fun to be had at the park and playing games with two of her favorite people.
This being the first time we’ve spent the entire day away, I was feeling the heartache almost instantly – but thankfully I know my mama’s a pretty trustworthy woman so the ache subsided throughout the day.
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This is truly one of the hardest things about parenting and life in general that really sucks. It’s just a struggle of life and it gets much harder once you have a baby, I swear. I’m talking about keeping up, with your kids, with your work, with, well, everything.
It’s been so hard lately to keep up with everything going on in our lives (and we’re not even that busy) but we’re trying! Do you ever feel so tired that texting somebody back sounds painful, almost like a chore? Or like having to get out of the house and face the world is a death sentence when all you want is some sleep and a day off?
Keeping up with the blog is one of the harder things on my list of hard things to keep up with, and I think it’s because this is my choice. I have to do the things that I have to do (funny, huh?) but I don’t have to do the things that I WANT to do if I’m too tired to. If it’s not required then I can just cut it out for the day, right? Man, I’m working on not letting myself fall into that snake pit! I know that as soon as I start choosing to sleep over writing or Netflix before writing, I’m done for!
Being able to keep up with Emmy has been pretty darn hard for me lately and I know Kayleigh is even more tired than I am but she’s putting her all into being the best mama she can be for Emerson. She’s a superb stay-at-home mom who is really taking on a lot by staying home with Emmy every day but she’s doing it like a trooper. Don’t get me wrong, Emmy is awesome. But if you’ve ever met her, you’ll know how exhausting she is! She’s the sweetest thing but she’s also a little monster! Kayleigh is taking that little monster head-on and still finding time to get everything else done that needs to be done in our lives while I’m working and going to school. She’s doing this all while coffee-deprived and sleep-deficient and she totally rocks it. She’s got it way harder than me and I just want to give it to the stay-at-home moms out there because you all are some tough mothaf*****s. Uh-huh.
Keeping up with life and with family and with everything else you’ve got going on is important for you mentally and psychologically. Trust me, as a parent, if I weren’t to keep up with everything I’m doing and somehow got behind and had to add more stress and exhaustion into my life… I’d probably need institutionalized.
With that, I must get on with my day! I hope you’re all doing well and keeping up in your own lives. Juggling gets easier the more you practice.
Alright, alright, now I understand that it may be weird to have an entire post about coffee—or maybe not at all… I don’t know. What I do know is that without the magic substance, I might not be here today, you know, because I have a kid.
Now I know that there are those out there that don’t have a taste for coffee and those that seem to be anti-coffee, for some strange reason. I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong! Coffee is one of the greater things in life and if you don’t like it… you must be sick.
My friendship with Joe (Joe because it’s so funny and witty to call coffee Joe) began at age 23, shortly after I stopped drinking alcohol. I had never had much of a taste for coffee until I dropped one habit and picked up another. I know it sounds like it was just a replacement—and hell, maybe that’s what it is—but it feels like a lot more than that. Joe helps me focus and get the shit done that needs done and helps keep me from falling asleep at my desk at work after we have a rough night with Emmy. And that has happened, more than once—I’m just sayin’—moffuga gets tired bein’ a dad and all, haha.
Coffee has become my crutch—but in a good way; it helps support me in a non-deadly way such as alcohol was providing me. It’s actually pretty healthy for me, according to some studies, and that makes it even better. There really is nothing like a nice, black cup of coffee when you’re fighting to stay conscious or even when you’re just trying to relax, thus why it had to be written about more than just in an in-passing way. So there you have it—my little friendship story with coffee.
I love you, boo.