Living in Vegas, it can be difficult to get outside in the blazing sun. Especially when your kids’ skin is as pale as the background on this webpage. I slather her in sunscreen before every outdoor activity – which is a 20-minute ordeal, of course, but it never seems to be enough. There is zero shade here, and basically zero grass… Oh yeah, and her attention span is still all of about 30 seconds.
SO I created a space for her to create in the garage. It isn’t much, and mostly just consisted of moving all our things out of the way, and it still gets too hot in there some days. But it’s better than nothing. We get natural light in from the side door and a nice breeze when we bring the fan. We used the new space for Emerson’s latest painting this past week! She had a blast and mostly painted her/myself, of course. Everything she creates is so beautiful and pure because she has no intention and has no care of the end result. That is a true beauty that us adults will never know.
I’m constantly getting caught up in my own head when I’m creating. It’s a constant battle of not feeling good enough or worthy. Nothing turning out right or perfect. Letting go of the idea of perfect is even harder, especially if you are a Virgo (those damn stars).
Emerson doesn’t mind though. It doesn’t even cross her mind. So she creates.
Soon we will be posting her originals up for auction, to go toward her college account. We’ve started her an Instagram where we will be posting all her new art. Feel free to follow her account, @EmersonCreates, to keep up with all of her latest paintings and see how she evolves over the years. We are so excited for her to start this new project and to be able to contribute to her future.
Xoxo, Mama Kay
I swear I haven’t forgotten about the blog…
I know, I suck, and I have no real excuses except for a weekend long, Friday through Monday, Bachelorette party (that’s what Vegas is for, right?!), but otherwise it’s purely my memory’s fault here.
Anyway, I’ve been wanting to post about this for months now, so here it is…
Joshua and I have been together for six years. Count ’em. Six… We’ve had twelve birthdays between us, six Christmases, six New Years, six summers, six winters, and six anniversaries.
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This past weekend, Saturday, was the first day Joshua and I have both been away from Emerson at the same time for more than a couple of hours.
We spent the bulk of the day alone, together, for the first time since Emmy graced us with her presence in November of 2016.
Joshua and I went on a six-hour hike in the middle of a canyon, down by the Hoover Dam.
It’s supposedly a hike just for locals – the hidden gem of Las Vegas. Now I’m not so sure how true this is, but for the sake of respect, I’ll keep the location disclosed.
We started out leaving the house at 9am, which in our world is 10am. That’s pretty on time for us. We left Emerson with Meme and Steve prepared for the day with lots of fun to be had at the park and playing games with two of her favorite people.
This being the first time we’ve spent the entire day away, I was feeling the heartache almost instantly – but thankfully I know my mama’s a pretty trustworthy woman so the ache subsided throughout the day.
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A typical morning is happening over at our place.
Emerson is running around, stealing the remote controls, changing all the settings on the TV. Shes over at the record player, turning the dials and blasting music to only be disappointed by the music being too loud (she understands turning the dial up but hasn’t completely grasped that the dial can also turn the music down).
She smacking the dog in the nose while Josh and I try to explain to her that she should be nice to him and give him a good-morning kiss, instead.
She’s chasing Tuffy around trying to grab onto his tail mysteriously whipping back and forth.
Josh is trying to get out the door while I try to decide what to make Emerson for breakfast this morning – my first challenge of every day.
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Do you ever work out? I’m sure you do. As most people do.
Josh and I are so not those people. Which is strange since both of the women that raised us are hardcore work-outters who love to be healthy and fit.
Recently I’ve been trying to work out every day during the week while Emerson takes her afternoon nap.
These aren’t long work out sessions, by any means. I also have no equipment, weights or otherwise. Meaning these also are not super difficult workouts.
I find them online, usually on YouTube and I do try to spend 10-20 minutes focusing on myself even though I honestly hate working out and I honestly don’t see the point when I generally am in pretty good shape thanks to my good genes (thanks, mama).
Still, I’m trying to take on some new challenges to help myself and my days.
Being a stay at home mom is the most draining job I think there might be on Earth and I think it’s important I try to focus on myself for those 10-20 minutes a day.
When I was working, life was so much easier and I felt much more balanced and much happier. Now things are difficult and far from easy and there are no once-in-a-while pick me ups… Like the Jamba Juice I used to walk across NW Portland from work to the mall to get on my breaks.
What challenges are you giving yourself and facing lately?
I know I need more challenges and I’m thinking of starting a list. They say it takes only a few weeks to form a new habit… Leave a comment with your suggestions!
Xoxo, Mama Kay
The initial sound of blood-curdling screams you can’t actually process. Once the second breath is taken, you realize something isn’t quite right.
Usually, dinner is a pretty uneventful but enjoyable time. Emerson bloves to eat and dinner is her favorite time. I love to give her food because homemade food equals love. 99/100 times I usually sit next to Emerson and feed her her dinner, replenishing her plate at her every little sign of “more”. Tonight, Josh sat down next to the little babe and started things before dinner was fully ready because Emerson was extra hungry and eager to get this show on the road.
That’s cool. Dad’s need time to bond with their babies, too. And moms can always use a break where they don’t have to pay attention to anything but the food on their plate.
We (Emmy and I – I later find out that Josh hadn’t eaten a single bite because he didn’t have a fork) start eating and talking with my parents about who knows what now, when all of a sudden it happens. It really didn’t register for a second since I wasn’t right there like I always am.
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I’ve always been the type of person who doesn’t believe in words. Actions are all that matter in my book — and because of this, I have never been able to write down how I feel about Emerson. I’ve never been able to find the right words that measure up or feel like they mean a thing.
I never wrote in her baby book on the page that says “a letter to you before we met you”. I also never wrote one after you arrived, even though I promised myself I would. Trust me, I tried many times. But still, nothing quite makes sense or translates correctly to paper. One cannot describe how a mama feels for her tiny babe.
Instead, I promise you I will always show you.
Instead, I’ve come up with this.
I promise to:
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