An Attempted Translation of Sophisticated and Hardly Describable Emotions

My Dearest Emerson,

Today is not your first Valentine’s Day, but the second; this is not your first year on this Earth anymore, but year number two, and I have to tell you, kid, I don’t know what I would do without you. You are my heart, my soul, my reason for breathing, for pushing, for changing. You are helping me take shape in a way I cannot explain—I am becoming a man that I was not before, becoming a person who wants to, who can, who will succeed, for you.

You, my baby, are my inspiration, my muse, my eternal devotion, and my tiniest of friends. Your love means to me something that I could never put into words—thus I do not know why I am attempting to do just so. I think it’s because I want you to have this, to look at, to reflect on, and to see just how much you meant to me, once upon a time. I hope that when you read this in the coming years you look to me and you know that I love you even more then. More than I can express that I do now, in 2018, while you’re still just an itty-bitty toddler, running around in your diaper, screaming, “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” at the top of your lungs in excitement.

Emmy, you hold the key to everything that is me. My success, my failure, my drive, my passions, my life—they all hinge on you. You see, when you came into this world, something inside me changed. I felt a shift at the very first moment I saw your beautiful face, the instant I heard your incredibly precious cry, the nanosecond that I first got to hold you after you were birthed into this world from your mother—in that moment I knew that something was different. At that time I felt that something had changed inside of me, forever.

You have given me so many things in the short time that you have been here, so much more than I ever thought possible, and I will forever be in your debt for that. Yes, your mother and I gave you life, but you too gave us the same. We were alive before you, but our lives meant nothing, not a smidgen of what they mean now, and I tell you that honestly, I swear it—cross my heart and hope to die.

I would never have fathomed that something so small, so innocent, so unaware of what it is doing could cause such a remarkable shift in so many people’s lives, could cause such a profound metamorphosis, but I’ve seen it. I’ve witnessed it with my own two eyes. I’ve felt it so deep in my soul that I know it to be undeniably true; you, Emmy, are a miracle, a gift, a thing so precious and so magical bestowed upon us that I wonder what in the world we did to deserve it, to deserve you.

I’ve done some wrongs in my life, many a thing that I am not proud of and many things that I regret, but I can tell you, for sure, for one-hundred percent certain, kid, that you are further from those things than anything else could ever be. You are so right. You are so perfect and so amazing, so beautiful and full of life that I know, more than I’ve ever known anything, ever, that you were meant for your mama and me.

You were sent here for a reason, the reason which I do not know, but I’m positive that you were given to us at just the right time, in just the right place in our lives, for something bigger than your mother and I will ever understand. You are here, with us, to help us, to guide us, to teach us how to live fuller, more productive, more prosperous lives, to show us how to be better versions of ourselves and to become what we are intended to be.

Emerson Lennon, you hold the world in your tiny little hands. I can sense the potential and the greatness in you even now at the sweet, tender age of fifteen months. I am more excited than anything to have been given the honor to be your father, to be a part of your life that you cannot reject, not now, not ever. Emmy, you gave me everything the day you came into this world—November 16, 2016—and I will be forever grateful to you, for you, from now until my dying breath.

I love you, kiddo. So much so that I could cry, did cry, just thinking about how much. You hold within you incredible things, Emerson, and I will do anything, everything, to help you realize your potential, your dreams.

Just remember that you are remarkable, unique, magnificent. Remember that you are beautiful beyond words, inside and out, and that you have the power to change the world tucked away inside of you. I know for a fact that you do as I’ve already seen you do it. Don’t ever forget that I watched the entire world become something new for me and everybody else in your life when you came into it. You have the power. You possess the strength. Your influence, touch, and reach know no bounds; that I can promise you.

Reach for, burn for, and grasp those stars, kid.

I love you.

-Dad

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4 Comments

    1. Thank you so much! I am trying my best to be, taking it day by day, minute by minute, and trying to appreciate it all. She is my little world and I figured I’d try to dig deep and attempt to transcribe my feelings for her on a day known for love. I don’t know how long I’ll be here and I am profoundly grateful that I seized this opportunity to tell her (I wrote it longhand for her as well, as a good father should, haha). Thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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